pooksterpup ([info]pooksterpup) wrote in [info]melbournemaniac,
2008-04-08 11:46:00
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Don't Call Me Baby

Are you as sick as I am of telemarketers and survey cold-callers phoning you up at what always is, and will always be, the worst possible time? Now you can turn that pain-in-the-arse-call into a bit of fun, thanks to my new hold music. Simply download the mp3 below, and set it up in an audio-playing device by the phone, ready for that next pesky unsolicited call.

Then, when the time comes, simply advise the caller to hold the line a moment. Start the mp3 playing into the phone, and when the mp3 has ended, hang up the phone.

This of course still ties up a couple of minutes of your time, but it is a much more enjoyable couple of minutes than one of these calls would otherwise warrant.

It also goes to show I have far too much time on my hands.

Download my new call music here.  

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  • 73 comments

[info]usekh

April 8 2008, 02:06:06 UTC 4 years ago

I was halfway expecting to be rickrolled, but that is awesome :)

[info]pooksterpup

April 8 2008, 05:32:36 UTC 4 years ago

haha! Hmm, rickrolling a telemarketer.... Now there's a concept!

Thanks.

[info]thingamabobby

4 years ago

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[info]cecism

April 8 2008, 02:17:42 UTC 4 years ago

Oh, that's fantastic. What can I say, telemarketers - karma is a bitch. ;)

[info]dissembly

April 8 2008, 06:03:16 UTC 4 years ago

Yeah, that'll teach them to try and earn a living in a dead-end job where complete morons abuse them continuously while they're at work.

But seriously, i think you're getting "karma" mixed up with "spiteful prank against someone who doesn't deserve it". The karma in this situation would be if the mp3 player gave off some sort of cancer-causing radiation to whoever was closest to it. Yes, the universe is cruel.

[info]pooksterpup

4 years ago

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[info]dissembly

4 years ago

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[info]pooksterpup

4 years ago

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[info]dissembly

4 years ago

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[info]pooksterpup

4 years ago

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[info]dissembly

4 years ago

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[info]pooksterpup

4 years ago

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[info]overgrownroses

April 8 2008, 02:18:39 UTC 4 years ago

That is truly brilliant. I especially adored the alternatives section. :D

[info]pooksterpup

April 8 2008, 06:48:21 UTC 4 years ago

Thanks. I'm the kind of person who could have made that list of alternatives quite a lot longer, if I'd let myself, so it's nice to know the short-but-sweet approach worked out well too!

[info]dominitus

April 8 2008, 02:30:47 UTC 4 years ago

The only way it could have been better is if we were able to hang up at the end of the song - other than that, brilliant. :)

[info]bookwormmel

April 8 2008, 02:36:46 UTC 4 years ago

That is great :-)

[info]ginnyleigh

April 8 2008, 02:42:39 UTC 4 years ago

Maybe... and this is coming from someone who was a telemarketer for a while... it would be nicer just to say "no thank you" and hang up. We are people too, ya know.

[info]lapzod

April 8 2008, 02:50:14 UTC 4 years ago

but but, we're heartless demons who don't care about the people we call..

(i used to be a telemarketer)

[info]ginnyleigh

4 years ago

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[info]jess2903

4 years ago

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[info]overgrownroses

4 years ago

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[info]ginnyleigh

4 years ago

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[info]pooksterpup

4 years ago

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[info]ginnyleigh

4 years ago

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[info]inflightdata

4 years ago

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[info]notarebel

4 years ago

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[info]inflightdata

4 years ago

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Anonymous

April 8 2008, 03:05:59 UTC 4 years ago

very well done. just found your site. this will keep me reading. cheers.

[info]pooksterpup

April 8 2008, 05:11:28 UTC 4 years ago

Oh, you did? It may be my old one that I no longer update. My two websites that I actually do update (both are livejournal pages) are:
http://www.heartlesscorporation.com - where I post my humorous short films and videos, and;
http://pooksterpup.livejournal.com - which is just my generic journal to dump my rants and things that spark my interest.

(Just to be sure you're not wasting your time on a site that's never updated!)

[info]cobweb_lace

April 8 2008, 03:07:10 UTC 4 years ago

I applaud you, Lucas. I shall be employing this method of dispatching callers as soon as I next receive a telemarketer's call.

[info]pooksterpup

April 8 2008, 08:20:30 UTC 4 years ago

Hehehe, thanks for the encouragement!

[info]sparkleoflife

April 8 2008, 03:26:49 UTC 4 years ago

ha ha ha ... love it

[info]quietthomas

April 8 2008, 03:57:18 UTC 4 years ago

"The company you work for however, will be charged at the standard call rate"

...somehow I highly doubt that.

Words of violent malice to plebs don't really do it for me personally (I prefer to try striking up an actual conversation, but I'm a lonely guy). I doubt many telemarketers can afford to retire, but I can understand how others find would find this entertaining.

[info]pooksterpup

April 8 2008, 05:17:50 UTC 4 years ago

Yeah, I can almost be certain that they're not charged at the standard call rate. It was just a good line and I didn't feel I could abandon it for something as trivial as "the truth". Never was one for that sort of thing.

And yah, it's not going to tickle everyone's funnybone, that's for sure, but a vast majority of people seem to be enjoying it, so I guess I made the right decision in sharing it with the community. Cheers.

[info]quietthomas

4 years ago

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[info]pooksterpup

4 years ago

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[info]thingamabobby

4 years ago

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[info]quietthomas

4 years ago

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[info]sidekicked

April 8 2008, 04:12:01 UTC 4 years ago

I make phone calls for a living.
And if you put me on hold I'd just hang up. The joke's on you! You've wasted a few minutes of your time, while I'm getting PAID (ridiculously over-paid, too!)

"Please don't call me again!" and hanging up is really the best & quickest way to deal with us.

[info]pooksterpup

April 8 2008, 05:23:59 UTC 4 years ago

Absolutely. I always just hang up straight away when you guys call - this is not really intended to be used literally, it's a novelty and I simply produced it for a laugh. My mother worked in a cold-calling centre for a period and their policy was if someone puts you on hold, to hang up on them, so I went into this full-knowing it wouldn't have any practical use.

Again, just a bit of fun. ;)

[info]sidekicked

4 years ago

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[info]wedley

4 years ago

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[info]blue_cupcakes

4 years ago

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[info]pooksterpup

4 years ago

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[info]thingamabobby

4 years ago

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[info]recalcitrant

April 8 2008, 04:50:30 UTC 4 years ago

OMG hilarious you rock

[info]pooksterpup

April 8 2008, 07:37:34 UTC 4 years ago

Thanks. :)

[info]andricongirl

April 8 2008, 04:56:41 UTC 4 years ago

just join the no call register. it stops most those annoying calls.

[info]pooksterpup

April 8 2008, 05:29:14 UTC 4 years ago

True, but where's the fun in that? ;)

Seriously though, I second that. Anyone wanting to join the "Do Not Call" Register, head over to http://www.donotcall.gov.au or call 1300 792 958. It doesn't stop all cold-calls, but if you're getting a lot, this will cut them down significantly.

Thanks for pointing it out!

[info]notarebel

4 years ago

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[info]pooksterpup

4 years ago

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[info]recalcitrant

4 years ago

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[info]blithespirit

April 8 2008, 05:39:18 UTC 4 years ago

hehe awesome, I've linked to it from www.lifehacker.com.au :)

[info]pooksterpup

April 8 2008, 06:23:23 UTC 4 years ago

Wow, thanks for that!

[info]courtney_mudie7

April 8 2008, 07:25:17 UTC 4 years ago

lmao.. funny as! love the track with it too! dandy warhols rock!

dw about the negative ppl..

[info]pooksterpup

April 8 2008, 07:36:44 UTC 4 years ago

Cheers. It was actually my first choice. I would have produced my own music for it if I thought it was worth it, and I also went through quite a few songs to find the right one, but I kept coming back to this one. Call music aside, it's just a pumpin' song.

[info]coldwars

April 8 2008, 09:12:29 UTC 4 years ago

Fuck yeah Dandy Warhols

[info]inflightdata

April 8 2008, 11:49:15 UTC 4 years ago

Yessssssssssssssss




FANCY SEEING YOU HERE

[info]coldwars

4 years ago

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[info]jess2903

April 8 2008, 13:18:27 UTC 4 years ago

I make phone calls for a living (surveys but not cold calls - I work for NAB). Not the most glamourous job but everyone has to make money somehow. I understand about telemarketers trying to actually sell you something as being annoying though believe me. I'm on the do not call register. But people really have to give some of us a break. I agree with what a commenter said before, we are people too. Just say not interested. That's fine. But don't be rude. It doesn't really put you in a good light. At least listen to what the people have to say before you do something like play annoying music to get back at them. We'd really appreciate it!

Anonymous

May 30 2008, 03:51:22 UTC 4 years ago

Telemarketing

Wow your reasoning is so extraordinarily self-absorbed it makes me puke. So let me get this straight. Because YOU make calls for a living, everybody else must therefore tolerate them. Not only that, but "at least listen to what people have to say". Why? Telemarketing calls are invasive, time-wasting, and damned annoying.

Don't be rude you say? What about you? I think somebody interrupting me with a time-wasting call that I didn't ask for and certainly don't want is incredibly rude. So it's ok for you to be rude, but nobody else.

And how many calls must we tolerate? All of them, or just the ones where you call because you're obviously one of the "nice" ones? How about if I receive 5 calls a day? 10 calls? 20 calls? Please tell me how much of my time I must "tolerate" telemarketing. And how much time must I spend per call? 30 seconds? 1 minute? 5 minutes? Since people like you have to make a living, please tell the rest of us how much of our (apparently worthless) time we must sacrifice for your benefit. Be specific.

I run a business and the business line is for taking orders. Yet telemarketers simply will not stop calling, wasting my time and disrupting my business. And the do not call register cannot be used for business lines.

There is absolutely nothing I can do about it. So again, I ask you, how much of my time should I spend "tolerating" these calls? And how many per day is acceptable to you? How much time and money should I lose in order to give you a break?

The great irony is that you yourself are on the do not call register. So you acknowledge that telemarketing calls are undesirable, yet when you make those calls, everybody else should be polite.

Telemarketers are people. And people can be arseholes. Like when they choose to annoy the living crap out of other people. Stop it. Quit your damned job and find a new one along with some self esteem while you're at it.

[info]jess2903

4 years ago

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[info]sapphybelle

April 8 2008, 14:37:10 UTC 4 years ago

Hahahaha that's gold =D

I joined the Do Not Call register but I still get cold-called from India all the time. Actually, I think the only calls I get on the home phone are from telemarketers... everyone else just calls my mobile.

[info]overgrownroses

April 9 2008, 00:27:00 UTC 4 years ago

Same here! I'm actually considering disconnecting my landline just to get away from them, and it seems that most of my friends/family just call my mobile, anyway. The Do Not Call register doesn't really do much, and just hanging up or politely saying not interested/please stop calling doesn't always work, either. Some telemarketers can be so persistent... Just the other day I had this one guy who would not leave me alone, he called at least five times in one afternoon! /end rant (sorry)

Anonymous

April 9 2008, 01:42:34 UTC 4 years ago

Communications

Not one of you could do the job of a telemarketer. You can bitch about them as much as you like but the reality is you really don't have much of a life if telemarketing calls bother you this much. If you receive a call, why don't you just hang up or say, 'no thanks'. You are all pathetic. By the way, telemarketing actually works or people wouldn't do it. A question for all of you who are really anti telemarketing - Why does it bother you so much? There are much greater issues in the world than telemarketing.

[info]pooksterpup

April 9 2008, 01:59:46 UTC 4 years ago

Re: Communications

Hi there.

No arguments here. Except for the part about being pathetic. I don't agree with that. As for the rest, I wholeheartedly agree. This was just a novelty sound file I made, simply as a bit of amusement. Sorry if it offended you, again, it's just for a laugh, not really intended for practical use.

I never at any point made any suggestion that telemarketing didn't work. Obviously, if there's so freaking many telemarketers out there, it must work.

And yeah, both a member of my family and two of my friends have at times worked in such occupations. For the record, they could relate to the demeanor of the mp3 and found it quite amusing. I can't speak for everyone here, but I personally took offence at your slanderous remark saying we were all pathetic without any real justification.

Anonymous

4 years ago

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...and 3 more comments... from Anonymous, [info]jess2903 Expand

[info]_anaesthesia

April 15 2008, 10:32:39 UTC 4 years ago

ahahaha i had a good laugh. i can see how the people who are (or have been) telemarketers feel frustrated at this, but have a sense of humor... it's all in good fun.

i loved "your call ISNT important to us. stay on the line, where a representative of this household will be with you soon... to terminate the call".


Anonymous

March 13 2009, 17:42:19 UTC 3 years ago

hold music = lol

OK, here is what I do.
I am a phone systems guy.... so I have an Asterisk phone system at my house (true geek) and those things have become very easy to set up.
I was getting so many of these telemarketing calls on my house phone that I decided to set up an Interactive Voice Response system. You know, the menus?
It goes like this "Thank you for calling Jake and Diane. Please select from the following options." and it goes on and on. Basically unless you know to push 7744 which everyone we know knows to do, you will get lost in an infinite loop of menus. I have watched telemarketers sit there for a long time.
Now putting them on hold is hilarious, I will take your hold music and use it.
Another thing I do is every once in a while I go in and compile a list of these telemarketers and robocalls. I post them up on www.numberinvestigator.com (take that, telemarketer) and a couple times (again I have a phone system with a lot of outgoing lines at my house) I have phone-bombed them. That is, I call them from 5 lines simultenaously. Non-stop. Take that telemarketer.

Anonymous

March 13 2009, 17:43:24 UTC 3 years ago

oh and...

there's http://www.numberinvestigator.com and there's also http://www.callercomplaints.com - forgot about that one.
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